


Hallelujah

by MontyKarl



Category: Bandom, Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Break Up, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, Songfic, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-20
Updated: 2015-04-20
Packaged: 2018-03-24 22:28:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3786640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MontyKarl/pseuds/MontyKarl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He didn't know it would be the last time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hallelujah

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry, I'm not sorry.

He was lithe beneath deft fingers tracing the curve of ribs and spine and hips. Brendon couldn't help pressing himself closer, flesh and flesh, bone and bone. The heat making him sweat, the pleasure making him shake. 

This wasn't the first time, but he had no idea it would be the last.

In this moment, it was just ecstasy. He was heroin, he was the burn after a shot of whiskey. Ryan would close his eyes tight, bury his face in the damp crook of Brendon's neck, never looking. Brendon couldn't help but let his eyes feast, taking in everything, praising with every touch, every taste. He would trace the sharp edges that Ryan shied away from, he loved them. (he loved him)

That last time, when it was over, Ryan left with curt words. He left without so much as a trace that he'd been there. There had been times where he'd leave a mark, a bruise, something to promise something, anything. There used to be times he wouldn't leave at all. He would stay hours in bed, talking about the world and his life and their future. 

Brendon wasn't expecting that to be the last, but he certainly felt the shift. He felt the shift when Ryan introduced Keltie, when he told her he loved her in front of him, in front of everyone. He felt the axis tilt and his depth perception dip as he attempted to readjust. He knew it would all have to stop.

He just didn't expect to find out that he'd been caught so suddenly, a link to a blog with a confession. His confession, their confession, thinly veiled behind the message he'd sent drunkenly after the last time. The slip up of truth.

He didn't know it would be the last time, he didn't know.

He never got more than a phone call in return.

'We were young' 'You were high' 'I was drunk, and it never meant a thing' 

He had an excuse for every single time but the last one. Brendon screamed, he begged, he didn't know what to say, what to do. It was a twisted daydream, trying to come up with ways to make this work, to make it. The band breaking up was nothing compared the torture he'd already inherited, he would move on, he would.

Someday, he could try.


End file.
